I will attempt to describe my modus operandi, my driving philosophy, my reason to keep going.
I have always considered myself a do-er, someone who likes doing things. I like to evaluate myself and my progress by seeing what I am able to do now, as compared to the past. This can have different time scales; yesterday, last week, last month, last year, last decade.
I’ve had some talks with my brother about this in relation to work and our careers, and how I really put my nose to the grindstone professionally and personally. He has said to me verbatim, “You seem to value doing things more than me”.
My immediate thought to this is, what is a human, if they are not doing? If one is not actively applying themselves to a particular task, then they may be in idle thought. I consider this doing. I love to sit in idle thought in slower moments of my life. I almost always complete these idle thought sessions with something of value, whether it was an internal understanding I have reached, newly found motivation to do something, or, if I’m lucky, a good idea.
I have wondered if this is an ego thing of mine; that I am chasing satisfaction purely from making my mark on the world, regardless of the outcome of my meddling. I would like to think that I put a lot of thought into the things I care about, and that I should hold these positions strongly due to the thought and consideration put into the given topic.
I like to do because it doesn’t limit me to a single area. While most of my daylight hours are spent working in software engineering, I take small breaks to practice music, whether on guitar, trumpet, or a computer. I work on my car, since the bills will pile up if I bring it to the shop for every minor maintenance job.
I’ve just spent a lot of time thinking about life. How will I stay financially stable? Where can I save money? How do I avoid burnout? How do I keep myself happy?
The things I do are coping mechanisms for my life.